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September

http://notenoughtomatter.blogspot.com/2015/09/september-1st-it-has-been-almost-22.html

The Last Annual Vol State 500KM road race

 





Vol State 500 KM map

Starting 9 July 2015 I stepped off a bus at the start of the 500KM road race known as the Last Annual Vol State 500KM road race.  This race happens every year in July as runners make their way across TN on foot covering at least 31.4 miles a day with hopes of making it to the "rock" at Castle Rock Farm just across the Georgia border.  I finished the race in 8 days 4 hours 38 minutes and 32 seconds.  I could spend days writing about my time on the course, the heat and my desire for the race to be over with during some long nights.  I could also discuss how now that it has ended and I am back in "reality" all I want to do is get back on the course.  The stories that exist on the road are many and range from mundane to exciting to mind numbing.  I have mulled over how to share my Vol State experience and after many hours and days have decided I will share two stories and a final thought.

#1
The race started on 9 July at 0730 in Hickman, KY and by July 13 my birthday at 0730 I was in Columbia, TN about 175 miles along the route and on pace for a respectable finishing time.  Little did I know I would suffer my worst day on what would be my 33rd birthday.  Leaving a hotel in Columbia, TN and heading toward Lewisburg I had to pass the bench of despair pass through Culleoka, TN and do a long slow burn to mile 200 all Hwy 341.  Leaving Columbia I was in sandals due to swollen feet and prepared myself for what I would assume would be an easy 35 mile day.  However after walking the eight miles to Glendale market signing the bench of despair and eating the worlds best cheeseburger and chocolate milkshake I left and headed out into the mid-morning heat.  The air temp was 100 with a heat index of 105-107 and an estimated 150 degree temperature rebound from the asphalt.
By this point of the race I had covered to many miles to quit so I had to slog along.  About 2 miles from Glendale market I was so beaten from the heat I hid out from the sun under a shade tree at a small church.  I laid under this tree and sleep for maybe half an hour, at this point I was stiff and sore and felt like I could not move anymore.  I couldn't believe how little actions like walking 1/4 mile seemed to take extended periods.  After a few minutes re-preparing my gear I rested on bench on the side of the church.  Let me explain my Vol State race strategy.  It involved staying on the course as long as possible each day with continuous movement.  Unlike other racers I am not fast so I relied on time.  The longer I spent on the course the more miles I could cover daily.  This worked well but I suffered a lot, daily.  Whereas other racers who were much more fit and prepared could run during the cooler hours and hide in hotels during the hot hours.  So is Vol State.  After leaving the church shade I couldn't imagine taking another step, I called Annie and talked to her about how hard this was and how much I was hurting.  I think now I was looking for her to allow me to quit, after she reassured me to move my butt I started moving again.  This time the sun beat me down and down and down.  I felt like an ant under a big kids magnifying glass and was looking for ways to get off the course. " if only a dog would attack me" or " maybe the next car can run over my foot" " maybe I can step into a cars mirror".  All these things were running through my head as I crested a small rise and noticed a sign that said ROAD ANGEL AHEAD. A road angel is a local who hands you water or a snack or something cold out of the kindness of their hearts.  This road angel had set up camp chairs and coolers under a tent in their yard, a recliner camp chair at that.  I could not believe my luck, I hobbled over with my cane and grabbed a Gatorade and sat down and rested my weary legs.  I was luck that the patriarch of the family was home when I arrived.  I was greeted and welcomed and asked to tell my story, we talked about Beydn and how the world is never the same when a child dies.  He listened and heard all while making sure I knew this family cared about each and every racer.  What struck me the most was the disappointment he had that morning when he had to go to work and missed a pack of front runners.  Imagine you own a house along a course that 80-100 people pass through once a year, would you out of the kindness of your heart provide food, water, Gatorade, snacks and a place to sleep every day for a week?  This family does and will next year as well, this family took care of me for half an hour and made sure I knew I mattered.  This family is a large reason I didn't quit on my birthday.  This family is the epitome of Vol State, it isn't about the 314 miles it is about the people you meet along the way. 

#2
This actually happens before #1 and involves another road angel.  When I arrived at the camp shelter at mile 157 at the Natchez Trace on 12 July I was excited because I knew this was halfway.  I felt good, I was walking like it was day one, I had a cane and sandals, a red bull in my pack and even some optimist in my head.  There was a group of about 4-5 other runners sleeping on picnic tables and fixing their feet in the shade.  Why would I ever want to leave this spot? Turns out about 10 miles down the road was a gas station in Hampshire with amazing Mom and Pop food.  Mack's was world famous in Vol State and was a must stop.  Mack's was also the last stop between mile 160's and 177.  A long stretch with no aid.  A stretch I would be doing at night.  If I didn't get to Mack's before it closed I would be foodless for most of the night.  Leaving the shelter in early afternoon I made my way through what I consider the most miserable part of the 314 mile course.  This is the road construction section.  I can't tell you how many miles it consisted of but it seems like forever, and the entire way is through road construction lanes, sometimes with little to now shoulder and absolutely no shade.  Why did I do this in the daylight?  Most of Vol State all you want is the next gas station or AC.  I made this choice, I wanted Mack's I wanted a gas station sandwhich and a cold drink so I must push through this section. 
 

                                                            Midway through this never ending heat sufferfest I was stumbling and slowing down when a van slowed down and approached me and asked if I needed anything.  I must have looked sad because she looked concerned.  I explained Vol State and she laughed.  She said she would be right back and that I shouldn't stop walking.  She returned just a few minutes later with a V8 and a green tea, when she got out of her van and walked with me she explained her well was broken so she didn't have any water for me and that she had used the last of her water in the van to make sure her engine didn't run hot.  Looking at the green tea I realized she had grabbed from her fridge and probably didn't have much at home.  She explained she was proud of each and every one of us for walking as far as we had and then hugged me and left.  She wasn't affluent and probably didn't have much but she gave with kindness and goodness in her heart.  The world can learn a lot from her, giving all she has when she doesn't have much.   For the record I made it to Hampshire that night, beautiful little town.  Mack's was closed. 





So close to Mack's

Downtown Hampshire
 



Who wouldn't enjoy this job

 

Final thoughts

This race took me across the state of TN, my first duty station in the Army was Fort Campbell along the TN/KY border and I spent many days talking with Beydn about how life would be when he grew up, little did I know he wouldn't grow up.  My forever ten year old man was on my mind and in my heart for all 314 miles. When he died a lot of people reached out to me, some gave kinds words but the phrase that stuck with me was " it never gets better or easier it just gets different. ".  When I reached mile 312.5 Annie, all the kids and Keith (my father in law) was waiting for me, we entered the cornfield together as a family and walked that last 1.5 miles to the end.  Coming out of the woods four wide holding hands together I was finally able to realize that over the last 15 months I haven't accepted that Beydn was dead, I somewhere down deep in my heart thought maybe one day I would wake up get out of bed come downstairs and find him asleep with a book on the couch.  Crossing that finish line I thought of how I would tell Beydn all about Vol State and how proud he would be.  Now I realize even if it gets different it will never get easier and as long as I have Beydn in my heart with me I need to take him on as any adventures as I can.  There is a saying that when a parent dies they are gone forever but when a child dies they are in the parents heart and don't pass on until the parents die.  As long as Beydn is in my heart I will make him proud and carry his memory far and wide, because in the end I won't have him again but the world needs know his story and I shall tell it.

 

 

 

   
 
 
 
 

52

Everyone has Timehop for their Facebook these days, and it’s great because you can glance backwards in time to that exact day and see what you were doing- one, two, three, even seven years ago, as far as your social media capsule will reach.  An amazing, fun use of technology.  I, however, am afraid to glance onto the app these days, because I most certainly know what was going on last year.  I was watching Beydn struggle to live; he fought so hard. He displayed more courage than I will have in ten lifetimes, and he lost his battle.  November was the start of it, the month he was diagnosed. Optimism was high and worry was rampant but we all knew he was going to beat T Cell ALL.  Looking back, I was a fool and didn’t have an understanding of what he faced.  I simply read the statistics and had unwavering confidence that every bump in the road was a step toward remission, being cured and living a normal life.  Had I known then what I know now I would’ve crawled into bed with him every second.   I would have cried on his shoulder and would’ve hugged him enough to make up for the 71 years of life he would lose. 

The problem is as a cancer parent you learn these things- you can never hug your kids enough and crying will always be there.  He didn’t want me to crawl into his bed with him.  He was, after all, almost 11, and at that age where he was too cool, but dammit I would’ve stayed awake 24/7 just to stare at him while he slept.  All of these could haves, should haves and would haves will never go away, but what can go away is the disease that killed him, the disease that will kill many more.  See, the most horrible thing was Beydn beat Leukemia.  On December 7^th his tests came back clear and in remission.  The problem was his lack of immunity made him susceptible to anything and everything.  He died from a non-treatable mold fungus named SCEDOSPORIUM.  We tried for three weeks with every anti-fungal drug available and nothing happened.  In the end these fungal infections will kill many more kids, unless we make sure that they are eradicated.  This enemy and killer of kids needs to be wiped clean from the planet, and we can do this but it will take everyone’s help.  I promised Beydn in his hospital room on February 22^nd, between tears, that I would fix this the way he fixed me, the way he saved me.  I will spend the rest of my life finding a way to save as many kids as possible because in the end that’s what Beydn would be doing.

Starting last weekend, November 2, 2014, with the NYC Marathon I am attempting to complete 52 marathons in 52 calendar weeks.  This blog and our website will have a tentative list of events, and if you would like to meet me at them and talk please do.  Throughout these marathons For Beydn will be fundraising so please continue to check back with us for updates on events and how to support, donate, and spread the word.  This sounds somewhat crazy or impossible, but I will run hard and complete all these races for Beydn who will be with me every step.  Please spread the story of the crazy active duty Soldier who is running and running... and running.  And help us spread the word for Beydn on December 1, 2014 by signing up for Thunderclap to post on your Facebook or Twitter.  If it goes well this will be a tool we’ll use to #forbeydn on his birthday as well.

https://www.thunderclap.it/projects/18650-never-forget

The 3rd Day of November

Beydn Swink Virtual 5k

The first ever FOR BEYDN VIRTUAL 5K will begin June 1 and going until July 1, 2014.  Runners have the entire month to complete a 5k and submit their times to forbeydn@gmail.com.  On July 1 all times will be uploaded to this blog and the overall male and overall female will receive a pre-paid gift card with their medals, additional three bib numbers will be drawn randomly and those runners will receive iTunes gift cards as well.  The medals are 2' bronze insert medals with The For Beydn Logo inserted.  Each medal spins, comes with a blue velvet gift pouch to hold the medal, a thank you letter for the foundation, a tax deductible receipt, and a card for 20% off our next race.  The racers can run the race via treadmill, trail or road, track etc,  Simply lace up your shoes and get some miles in for a good cause. Shipping is built into the $20 cost of the race as well. Medals will be mailed following the July 1 deadline.  Each racer is encouraged to email us a story of how cancer has affected them.  Sign up for the race via emai/paypal at forbeydn@gmail.com.

Thank you in advance